Harry Mills, Ph.D., Natalie Reiss, Ph.D. and Mark Dombeck,
Ph.D.
A religion is a codified set of beliefs and practices shared
by a group of individuals regarding their relationship with a
Higher Power (or powers). In contrast, spirituality is about an
individual's relationship with a Spirit (which can be a Higher
Power like a God, or is a simply a representation of human
being's connection to a metaphysical reality greater than
oneself). People can be religious without being spiritual (if
they are simply going through the motions of following the
practices of the group) and vice versa, there are individuals
who are spiritual without being religious (people who do not
subscribe to a particular religion's belief system, but still
feel connected to and contemplate the larger world and the
universe beyond).
Spiritual and religious people find various ways to express
these qualities by praying, attending religious services,
interacting with people who share the same beliefs, meditating,
viewing or making art or music, visiting nature, etc. Because
many people view the term "spirituality" as the more
all-encompassing term, we will use it in this discussion as
well. Spirituality can decrease stress, by allowing a person to:
- Create a sense of quiet, stillness,
and peace. We spend so much time rushing from
activity to activity and trying to get things done. Similarly,
we spend a great deal of time either listening to (or
vigorously trying to distract ourselves from) a myriad of
thoughts that are rushing around in our minds. Practicing
spirituality can give us a quiet respite from all of this
rushing around. Time spent meditating, praying, or just
appreciating what is around and within us in that given moment
can allow space to detach from and find perspective on
stressors, enhance our sense of awe at the amazing world that
is around us, as well as give us time to gain some or all of
the other positive benefits described next.
- Give up control. Believing in
something greater than ourselves allows us to realize that we
aren't responsible for everything that happens in our lives.
Bad things and good things will happen no matter what, through
no fault (or through no specific effort) of our own.
Spirituality can allow us to release (or at least decrease)
the need to always blame ourselves for bad times and/or
continuously scramble to achieve good outcomes.
- Increase meaning. When those
inevitable positive and negative events happen, spiritual
practice can help us look for a way to think about those
events in a meaningful way. Asking "What can I learn?" or "How
can I grow stronger?" instead of asking "Why me?" when
something bad happens can serve to decrease negative stress
feelings fuel constructive behavior. Similarly, feeling
grateful when good things happen can help to spur us to
"spread the wealth" and practice altruistic acts toward
others.
- Enhance a sense of connectedness.
Feeling a part of something greater than ourselves can make us
feel less isolated and alone. In addition, many people who
belong to religious and/or spiritual groups receive social
support benefits (interpersonal interactions; group
activities; mentoring; help with money, food, transportation,
respite, etc. in times of need). Most stressors seem smaller
and more easy to deal with if we know that we belong to and
can connect with a group (or a higher power, or the universe)
who can offer acceptance, solace, strength and possibly even
solutions.
- Maintain a sense of purpose.
Most of us have spent some time wondering what life is "all
about." People who start to think that meetings, unpleasant
chores, and the "rat race" is all that there is to life
frequently start to feel depressed and stressed. The enhanced
sense of connectedness and increased sense of meaning derived
from spiritual practices allow us to look beyond ourselves,
which increases our sense of responsibility for our wider
community and universe.
- Gain perspective. Spiritual
practice can help us to shrink obstacles that seem
insurmountable into something approaching a manageable size.
In addition, spirituality helps us to clarify our values, and
focus on related goals that are important, rather than
becoming consumed by material things or circumstances that are
truly unimportant.
There are all sorts of ways to cultivate your spirituality.
Probably the most common (and most formal) way to plan out your
spiritual practice is to join a particular religious group whose
beliefs match (or closely match) your own. However, joining a
group is not necessary or sufficient to grow your spiritual life
(e.g., people who belong to but do not gain benefits from their
particular religious group). Other ways to enhance spirituality
include:
- Using prayer, meditation and/or relaxation
techniques on a routine basis.
- Keeping a journal to help you express your
thoughts and feelings and to record your progress.
- Seeking out a trusted adviser or friend, or
reading inspirational stories or essays to learn how to lead a
fulfilling spiritual life.
- Being open to new experiences. If you are
dissatisfied with a particular type of organized religion, try
a new one (or multiple ones). Similarly, if a particular
practice (art) doesn't enhance your spirituality, try
something different (visiting nature).
- Sharing your spiritual journey with loved
ones, and invite them to discuss their journey with you.
During these discussions, remember that different people
travel very different spiritual paths; try to resist the
temptation to view and behave as if your particular path is
the best (or only correct) way.
- Striving to see the good in other people and
in yourself.
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